Kelburn Castle Bothy Report – Friday

First weekend away in cold cold Scotland – complete with sleeping bags and campfires and lots and lots of dirt, and for a girl from an urban city in the tropics (think 30deg weather and insane levels of humidity) used to only camping in the heat, it was a prettyyyy great adventure.

I was lucky enough to be placed in Roy’s car (thank you Roy and Roy’s car for driving us there), with Ellie (the terrifying ghost climbing out from the television and scaring the shit out of me during Halloween) and Miguel (yay fellow first year!).

While hopeful for good traffic conditions, a looooong 3 hour journey was what we received. Crazy traffic through Glasgow was not fun.

What was fun, though, was the conversation in the car. Ellie shared about the many times she’d been to Kelburn Castle, and the incredible 20th bothy party (complete with couples who met in dirties and dirty babies! I think she mentioned dirty pets too), and how there weren’t any proper walls, only a roof and some plastic sheets at the sides attempting (and failing horrendously) to keep the wind and rain out.

Roy told us some stories too, but perhaps what was the most memorable was him and Ellie singing along to this song with lots of references to Scotland culture, and although I couldn’t understand any of the references (no really, not even one), or even make out some words because of the singer’s accent + the fast pace of the song, it was pretty great and entertaining and it was just very enjoyable to be in the car where the mood was just happy and high and everyone was just laughing 🙂

Miguel told us stories from home too, and him and Ellie shared childhood memories about this place (I’m so sorry I can’t remember the name of the town), and it was pretty cool that both of them had bits of their childhood there. Miguel also shared how his family used to go there so often that the shop keepers (the ice cream man, that I remember) would remember his family. It sounds like a lovely town, and I’m pretty sure it is.

I vaguely remember us coming to the topic of food, and I told them about this amazing dish from back home, called Chili Crab. It’s basically sir-fried mud crab served in a semi-thick, sweet and savoury tomato and chilli based sauce, accompanied by deep fried buns called mantous. I’m missing home and all the yummy food from home so badly just thinking about it.

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Here’s a picture for you and I hope you guys think it looks as mouth-watering as it really is

We eventually got to Kelburn, and it was dark by then. Roy was just going really quickly in the small little country lanes, and I remember being quite terrified that he’d just crash into a car he didn’t see coming. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a safe and great driver, but dark small windy roads are pretty scary. To me, at least.

Cuz we were the first to get to the pavilion that we would stay in, we started to get dinner ready! Of course, not before a cup of tea and being amazed by how cute (omg fairy lights!) and pretty great (proper toilets! A kitchen! Proper walls!) this bothy was.

Dinner was made under the command of chef Ellie – dinner would’ve been rubbish without her. Roy put his entire head into the oven as we tried to figure out how to operate the gas stove, we eventually got it, but it took quite a bit of experimentation. Anyway, Miguel and I were soon rolling balls of mashed potato for gnocchi, and I have to say, it did kinda feel like we were machines after a while.

The others soon arrived on the minibus, and Rosie came into the kitchen to help us deliver the gnocchis to ultimate drowning death in boiling water. Cooking gnocchi was pretty great, and I particularly enjoying scooping up the cooked potato dumplings as they rose to the surface of the boiling water.

The rest set up their sleeping bags outside, and an apparently pretty intense game of card against humanity (thank you lizzie for the cards) took place.

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Cards Against Humanity (Photo credits: Lizzie)

From the kitchen, we suddenly heard a bout of insane laughter, and Rosie (I think) came to report that dear Rudy (Rudy, of all people) had bought a kids sleeping bag.

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Here’s Rudy trying and failing to squeeze into the sleeping bag

When the train people arrived, Nina went to get them (thank you Nina for driving the minibus), and dinner was served!!! Happy dirties and happy tummies 🙂

After dinner, we pretty much split up into separate groups. Some people decided to go out to play hide and seek, some chilled out with drinks, others chose to stay in to knit and read. I chose to go out to explore a little with Gyda and Emma, which was wonderful.

We walked around aimlessly around the estate, stopping by to see the castle, attempting to follow a path to a look out / picnic point that we never found, just walking and enjoying the night. The night sky was breathtaking – being in a pretty dark town with little light pollution, and blessed with clear skies, gave for a spectacular view of the stars in the sky. We attempted to point out constellations, but couldn’t do much except for the Big Dipper and Orion’s Belt. Gyda and I were lucky enough to see a shooting star too! It was a great walk.

Then it was back to the pavilion, and again, there were groups of people knitting, reading, drinking. Ale and Lizzie taught Miguel and I to knit, which went quite well I have to say. Also, I’m possibly the only person to have literally stabbed myself with a knitting needle, yes there was (it’s still there!) a hole in the palm of my hand, with the skin being taken out and a little bit of blood. How I managed that, I have no idea.

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Look at how hard Miguel was concentrating on his knitting (Photo credits: Lizzie)

People started to get tired, and we all snuggled into our sleeping bags, and it was sleeeep, in preparation of our long day of work ahead.

 

Bothy Report – Sunday

KelburnOn Sunday there weren’t alarms going off in the morning, so we all slept to a decadent 7 o’clock. Those of us who were idiots the night before learnt how best to keep warm, which made bed that much more attractive, so we arose either groggy or in the case of some people, extra groggy. Breakfast was the usual affair – put what you can onto bread, put what you can into porridge and chew until you are done.

After this, I don’t know what happened to most people till about 9, but I got up and kicked Roy’s bright orange ball around until I fucked up and belted it over the fence.

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Evidently, I see Roy as a fellow buckie drinking relatively stabby Scottish person. The irony being that I’m not Scottish and don’t like buckfast. Sorry Rudi, you still looked fucked.

 

After that, I took it back to the car park and we kicked it again until Neil and the other person showed up and took us back to the task of uprooting/smashing/slashing/chopping rhododendron.

 

Seeing as we had all got some practice in the day before, the rhododendron fell one after another. We wielded a variety of weapons, from blunt saws to sharp saw, as well as the odd hatchet. I was proud to see some of the dirties using their hands and tearing the bastard plant/tree hybrids out the ground. I myself was perfecting a method of removing the Rhodies tangly arms from the mor they sprawled in. The idea is basically to climb onto them and hang like a sloth / surf on them / body slam them until the roots are levered out of the ground. Then you embrace a squat or deadlift like posture and rip them free. Because of their shallow and crappy root structure, it is quite possible to remove a rhodie up to twice your height and up to the width of your thigh. It was hard work though, after a dozen I was ready to take a break, already down to my t-shirt and gloves.

 

The dirties didn’t give up though, so back I went crashing through the undergrowth, tearing down rhodies with the seething rage of a man who has done physics for far too long. Whether as lone wolves or working in tandem, the dirties destroyed most things in sight, and soon there were walls of corpses littering the forest floor.

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Me and Rosie killing the mega rhodie

 

Around noon was when the first of us started to lie on the piles of our deceased enemies for a nap. The more diligent went onto new lands searching for bigger game. After one last rhodie battle, I too was about ready for a nap, so climbed a big tree and rested in its branches.

 

After this, it was time for a pleasant stroll, first to to the river where we split up, some of us going to the castle, some of us up the hill, others just enjoying the sunshine. Personally, I ended up wandering the gardens with President Cameron, discussing amongst other things the bleakness of the future. Then Cameron started talking about a tractor he saw… On our tour we saw a mutant larch, one of the 100 most important trees in Scotland. We talked about how deciding which 100 trees are most important probably isn’t a real job. We eventually stumbled back to the animals – angry geese, flappy ducks and some worse for wear alpacas. I’ll never forget the black one, it haunts my dreams with it’s manic stare.

IMG_20151124_214907Finally, we went to the ranger’s house for some soup, lasagne and popping candy spread with whatever we could find to put it on. We had weird conversations, which I think meant it was about time to go home. Then we went home, and then we went to the pub.

 

Duddingston Community Garden – 15/11/15

“The Project had mattocks and digging,

The gloves got undoubtedly minging,

They went in the bath, We all had a laugh,

and Now they’re soaking and drying”

– John and Morna –

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Totally g’loving it

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfu7oaMoxbc]