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Gracemount Walled Garden – 14/02/16

Gracemount: What if Dirties were a prison escape movie?

At an early and Ungodly hour on a Sunday morning, whilst slumbering happily, my crime of being a fabulous dancer caught up with me as I was raided by the police who shouted: “You are under arrest Cameron Schoefield”. They then bundled me onto the Lothian Prison Transport system to head out to the infamous Gracemount Walled Jail of terror! (Insert Dramatic Music here)

Upon arrival with the other inmates (who appeared to be a merry band all arrested at the same time, going by the gang name of ‘The Dirties’), we were greeted by our super friendly prison guards who showed us our new home. We were then split up, with my group being locked in a walled courtyard. To this day, I still don’t know if the other group who were taken to a ‘forest’ survived.

To pass the time, some of our group started pulling up plants that could have been said to resemble weeds, from places that looked a bit like vegetable beds. But I knew I had to escape. This was no easy task, it would have been easier to escape Alcatraz like Clint Eastwood did once in that film about escaping from Alcatraz. So we dug. We dug like we have never dug before. Well, we dug like we dig most Sundays. We were cunning with where we hid the dirt, we formed things that looked conveniently like potato beds.

It worked! We fooled those pesky guards. We were out but the peril didn’t end there. They released a vicious band of small people to hunt us down, but we were too shrewd with our super-fast getaway! We timed it perfectly so there was only a 20-minute wait for the bus. This outsmarted the prison who had no idea there was a bus stop 5 minutes away!

We got back and holed up in a safe house made of beer and nachos until we were able to get fake identities, escape over the border and prove Nina Burrow’s innocence.

THE END!

P.S I hope you got the really lame and dull prison break references.

  • Cameron “The President” Fox-Clarke
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Cammo Estate – 24/01/16

Last Sunday in Cammo Estate we were hard at work beautifying the access paths for the benefit of the many dogs, their owners, and small children in wellington boots. We cleaned the drains with long toilet brush like implements and compacting paths with a noisy machine but in the afternoon, we were given a small tree to plant (with much pomp and ceremony) in a garden of unusual conifers. The yew is the newest addition to a collection of trees that draw botanical enthusiasts to the estate. We marched it to its home next to the pineapple wall, overlooking a giant Chilean monkey puzzle tree which looked old enough to produce loads of buttery delicious nuts. We dug a big hole, filled it partially with sand and rocks (to improve drainage) and planted the small tree.

The Dirties planted it a little skew-whiff in its fenced enclosure and christened it “Alba”. According to Martin Crawford, the Japanese Plum Yew (Cephalotaxus harringtonii) produces an edible fruit whose ‘flavour when ripe is sweet butterscotch/ pine nut and very distinctive’. Fruiting starts 4-5 years after planting and they will ripen in late October/November so dirties of the future will have to tell us how they taste.

 

(Information taken from: Crawford, M. 2010 Creating a Forest Garden, Green Books: Devon.)

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29/11/15 – Bridgend Farmhouse

A really Dirty dirties project. It rained a tonne, but we managed to shift more than that in dirt and bricks.

Two walls were knocked down and a pile of dirt and rubble was moved and sorted.

the farmhouse now have much more room to have their Christmas fair, at a farmhouse that they now own.